The Christmas Cookie Crisis
by Taito-Yamachi-lvr
Summary: Face just wants to make some cookies, but the team keeps interfering.


It was December 23rd, and nostalgia had Templeton "Face(man)" Peck in a stranglehold. But fond memories of Christmases past weren't on his mind. It was the kindness of Mrs. Carrie Hicks he was recalling, the wonderfully nice elderly woman who had baked him cookies after the team had returned from Venezuela. Face had become so attached to her that the others had had to forcefully drag him into the van, and even then he had managed to hop out and run back to Mrs. Hicks for another fond farewell hug. It had been the best end to a mission ever, and right now he wanted to bake some cookies.

All the trouble began when he mentioned this wish to the others.

"Cookies, huh?" Hannibal said, chewing his cigar. "What kind?"

"Well," Face began.

"We don't got any milk! Can't have cookies with no milk, foo'!" B.A. growled.

"And I _hate_ raisins," Hannibal commented.

"Oh, you _should_, Colonel!" Murdock was quick to say. "Or pity them, perhaps. They are merely poor grapes who've had their sweet life juices drained right out of them."

"Exactly, they taste nasty," Hannibal nodded.

"Man, why you even thinkin' 'bout cookies anyway? We don't got the supplies!" B.A. pointed out.

Face forced down the "why-did-I-open-my-big-yapper" feeling and calmly said, "Actually, B.A., we have just enough of the ingredients needed to make a single batch. And, uh, if they turn out bad, which I doubt since _I'm_ making them, I'll just pick up more ingredients at the store. It's not _that_ far."

"And what if someone recognizes you while you're out scrounging ingredients?" Hannibal asked.

"Hannibal, you're kidding me, right?" Face laughed. "It's nearly Christmas Eve. No one's going to be paying attention to anyone but themselves. Trust me on this."

Hannibal kept the same doubtful look on his face and insisted that Murdock supervise Face's baking.

"_What_?" Face cried, while Murdock looked excited.

B.A. was just glad he didn't have to participate in this. Having Murdock around an open flame was not a good or safe idea, but then again it _had_ been Hannibal who came up with it.

"_And_ he's in charge," Hannibal added, walking out of the room.

"But it was _my_ idea!" Face yelled after him.

B.A. flashed him a sympathetic grimace and then followed Hannibal out of the kitchen. Poor Faceman was doomed.

Face stared after the two of them, feeling defeated and more than a little nervous. Yeah, Murdock was his best friend and he was glad to hang out with him, but he would have preferred to do this alone so he could reminisce without being asked why he had a goofy look on his face.

Oh, and there was also the whole "Murdock around burners equals Face dying in a fire" worry he had. That was secondary, though.

He turned back to Murdock, who had already put an apron and a chef's hat on (_where did he FIND this stuff?_ Face wondered) and was taking out random ingredients for cookies and setting them on the counter. Face spotted a jar of dill pickles, half a bag of marshmallows, a can of Coke, a stick of butter, and an open bag of chocolate chips. Oh boy.

"Murdock, buddy, hold on," he said, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. "We don't need all this stuff. Let _me_ handle it, ok?"

"Now Faceman," Murdock replied, adopting the tone of a parent speaking to a child, "Hannibal put _me_ in charge of this little project, so _I'll_ be the one handlin' it. You just stand there and relax."

"But you don't even know the recipe," Face pointed out.

Murdock opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Faceman had him there. Dang.

"Tell you what, let me take care of half the ingredients, and _you_ can do the rest," Face offered.

Murdock grinned. "Arright."

He watched Face put away the pickles (_his loss_, Murdock thought), marshmallows, and Coke, and asked, "So what got ya in the mood for cookies anyway, Faceman? Doesn't really seem like, uh, somethin' you'd do."

He saw Face hesitate a second before continuing to measure out tablespoons of brown and white sugar.

"You remember Mrs. Hicks?" he asked, pouring in some vanilla and adding the butter to the sugar in a mixing bowl. "From that mission in Venezuela where we cleared her son's name?"

"You mean that mission where you _punched me_ in the _face_?"

"Murdock, come on, I said I was sorry," Face apologized, cracking an egg into the mix. "Hannibal _made_ me do it."

"You didn't hafta do it so _well_," Murdock muttered under his breath.

Face _did_ look sorry, so Murdock dropped it and tried to recall Mrs. Hicks.

"Mrs. Hicks…was she that nice ol' lady you kept clingin' to?" he asked.

"I didn't 'cling'!" Face protested, looking indignant.

"Yeah, I remember her," Murdock grinned. "I thought you were gonna stay there an' try ta replace her son! Ya acted like she was yer mom."

"Ha, what an idea!" Face laughed, quickly falling silent and staring off into space with a look in his eye that Murdock didn't like.

"Now, Faceman," he said sternly, "Mrs. Hicks is _Robbie's_ mommy."

"Oh, I know," Face replied nonchalantly, still stirring. After about five seconds of silence had passed, he added, "For now."

"_Face_!"

"Hey, I'm kidding!" Face laughed, holding up his hands. "Here, it's your turn."

He took out another bowl and put baking soda, salt, and an unopened bag of flour next to it.

"I'll tell you the measurements when I get back, I gotta wash my hands," he said, walking to the door. "You just open the flour."

Face saw Murdock pick up the bag of flour and hold it slightly over his head as he started yanking at it. As he shut the door behind him Face heard something rip, followed by a "FOOMP!"

_Just walk away_, he thought, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. _You can go live in Maui and never think about baking cookies again._

Sighing heavily, he turned around and walked back into the kitchen.

Murdock, completely covered in flour, stood dumbstruck at what had just happened. He looked over at the door and Face saw his lower lip was stuck out like he was about to cry. Flour lay in clumps around his feet.

"It's ok," Face said quickly, trying to calm Murdock down. "I'll just…get another bag and you can do it again, less messily. It's not a problem."

Murdock nodded and started to brush himself off when he caught sight of himself in a mirror.

"Face!" he said excitedly. "I look like a ghost!"

"Er…"

"I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present!" he declared, straightening up to his full height and trying to look regal.

"Don't mention it to B.A.," Face advised.

"I gotta tell B.A. and the Colonel!" He ran out the door, trailing flour behind him.

Face rubbed his eyes with his hand. These cookies were never going to be made.

* * *

When Face returned from the store with fresh cookie supplies, he discovered that Hannibal and B.A. had joined the now flour-free Murdock in the kitchen.

"Ah, Lieutnant, you've returned!" Hannibal noted, taking the bags from a wary Face. "We'll take it from here."

"'We'?" Face repeated.

"Hannibal and B.A. here decided to help me out for some reason," Murdock explained, grinning. "We got it under control, Faceman."

"I don't think—" Face started to argue.

"Face, do you even know _how_ ta cook?" B.A. demanded.

"Well—"

Hannibal shut the door in his face. "Leave it to us, Lieutenant."

"Uh, Colonel, we just got _one_ little problem," Murdock said.

"Yeah, _you_!" B.A. growled at him.

"_No_! Meanie." Murdock looked back at Hannibal. "Face is the only one who knows the recipe, and you just locked him out."

Hannibal blinked once and briefly bit down harder on his cigar. That _was_ a problem. If he opened the door to ask Face for the recipe, however, Face would wheedle his way into the kitchen and then their efforts to do something for him without him getting involved would be over. Hannibal had to at least _try_ to get the recipe from Face.

"Ah, Face?" he called through the locked door.

"Yeah?"

"What's the, uh, recipe for the cookies again?"

"Let me in and I'll tell you."

That settled it.

"Never mind, Face, I think we got it," he replied, looking at the others.

"Colonel," Murdock whispered, looking a bit worried. "We don't—"

"Ah, we'll figure it out," Hannibal assured them. "It can't be that hard."

"I'll help out, Hannibal, but only if you keep that crazy fool _away_ from the burners!" B.A. warned.

Murdock scowled at B.A. as Hannibal nodded his assent.

"Ok, men, let's go to work."

* * *

Face was still outside the kitchen, his ear pressed against the door. He could appreciate what the guys were trying to do for him, but what he heard was not encouraging.

What sounded like Murdock: "Aw, Hannibal, you got cigar ash in the dough!"

"It'll add flavor."

"It'll add _cancer_, sucka!"

"How d'you guys feel about pickles?"

"_Pickles!_"

"Just give 'em a chance!"

"_No_, Murdock."

"Crazy."

"We'll put in two cups of sugar. That should be enough."

"I saw Faceman put in brown sugar, too."

"Well, ok, we'll put in a cup of that. Don't want them _too_ sweet."

"What about _milk_?"

"Does milk go in?"

"I dunno. Why not."

"All right, add it, B.A."

"Oh yeah, eggs!"

"Just three!"

"Oh, _fellas_," Face groaned, putting his face in his hands. Their measurements were _horribly_ off.

* * *

Inside the kitchen, the dough had finally been assembled on a tray. Now the dilemma of actually _cooking_ it faced them.

"Whadda you, uh, turn the stove on?" Hannibal asked hesitantly, turning one of the burner dials to 6.

"No, you put 'em in the oven," Murdock told him.

"Right, right." Hannibal turned the burner back off.

"What temperature, Hannibal?" B.A. asked, a heavily jeweled hand on the dial.

"Uh…try 300. We don't want 'em overcooked."

"Twenty minutes sound good, Colonel?" Murdock asked.

"Y…eah."

Just then they all heard a knock on the front door. They all froze and listened intently.

* * *

Face was as surprised as the rest of the team when he heard the knock at the front door. Silently creeping over to it, he peeked through the view hole.

Amy Allen was standing on the front step, a shopping bag and an overnight bag in her hands.

His jaw dropped and he stared at her in surprise for a few moments before recovering himself.

"Guys, you'll never guess who it is!" he called, grinning and fumbling with the locks. "The Ghost of Christmas Past!"

* * *

Hannibal and B.A. exchanged a confused look and unlocked the door and stepped out of the kitchen.

Murdock, suddenly hyper, hurriedly shoved the tray in the oven and hit the timer buttons. 20:00 appeared on the display. He hurried giddily out of the room.

Face set Amy's overnight bag by one of the couches and gave her a hug.

"How've you been? Haven't heard anything from you since you ran away from us," he joked, grinning.

"It's great to see you, Face," she replied, also smiling.

"_AMY_!" Murdock cried delightedly, running up to her. "_I'm so glad ya made it_!"

He realized the others were staring at him suspiciously.

"I mean…my, what a crazy, random happenstance," he amended, too late.

"_Murdock_," Hannibal said, his tone conveying that Murdock had better start talking.

"Colonel, she was already in the area anyway, honest," Murdock told him.

"Too late ta do anythin' now," B.A. grumbled, but he looked happy to see Amy.

"No kiddin'," Hannibal agreed. "How ya been, kid?"

"Jazz-deprived," she replied, and they laughed.

"Why don't you take a seat?" Hannibal offered, gesturing towards a couch. "We can catch up while the cookies are baking."

"Cookies?" She looked amused.

Face locked the door again as Amy sat down. Murdock took a seat beside her, still grinning. Hannibal and B.A. sat down opposite her, and Face perched himself on the arm of the couch she was on.

"So, kid, what's new?" Hannibal asked, lighting a new cigar.

"You let your hair grow out," B.A. observed, not disapprovingly.

"Yeah." Amy touched it self-consciously. "Been too busy to get it cut."

"Or to contact us," Face added.

"Your new job must be too exciting," Hannibal mused, sounding slightly sulky.

"No no no," she laughed, shaking her head. "Exciting it _not_ what my job is. There's a lot for me to do, and it keeps me busy, but it is _definitely_ not exciting."

"That's too bad." Hannibal looked a bit too pleased to be convincing.

"You didn't even tell us you were leavin' in the firs' place," B.A. spoke up suddenly, frowning at her.

"Decker was hounding me, guys," she explained, looking pained. "I didn't want you to know my plans in case you wanted to see me off. Good thing I didn't tell you, too, because he was actually _at_ the airport the day I left for Jakarta."

"Still, you could have sent us a note," Face said.

"Well…I hear you replaced me with Tawnia, so I guess I was pretty expendable anyway," she replied, shrugging.

The room was suddenly full of very loud "WHOA WHOA WHOA NO NO NO UH UH NO WAY" cries from B.A. and the others. They were so worked up they had actually gotten to their feet. Amy blinked in surprise at their reactions.

"_You _were a member of the team _and_ a good source for new missions," Hannibal explained to her. "Tawnia is _not_ a member of the team."

"Tawnia ain't you," B.A. agreed.

"Ah, she's ok. Give her a chance, guys," Amy protested. "You'll have to use her, since I'm gone."

Hannibal grunted unhappily along with the others.

"You know, I really wish you hadn't told her about my, uh, afraid of commitment thing," Face sighed. "I was _this_ close to getting Tawnia, and then she mentioned a relationship and everything was ruined. Well, the whole, uh, ex-boyfriend showing up and getting thrown out of a ten-story window by thugs was pretty awful, too."

He waited for her to look shocked, but her expression didn't change. If anything, she was smiling a tiny bit.

"I _said_, 'The whole ex-boyfriend showing up and _getting thrown out of a ten-story window_ was pretty _awful_, too'," he repeated, a little louder.

"That does sound bad," she agreed, not reacting the way he had hoped.

"Aren't you shocked?" he asked.

"Oh no, I already knew. Murdock told me," she replied, smiling at him.

Murdock was grinning, too, as Face glared at him.

"You _told_ her?" he complained. "How am I supposed to impress her if you tell her everything beforehand?"

Murdock shrugged. "She didn't believe me when I told her."

Face looked at Amy, who nodded.

"Well, neither did anyone else," he sighed, giving up.

"Just out of curiosity, how did Murdock get in touch with you?" Hannibal asked.

"Well…he called me at my office one day," Amy said, frowning as she thought back. "I gave him my home number and we talk every now and then. But…"

She looked at Murdock, tilting her head inquisitively.

"How _did_ you know where I was?"

Everyone else in the room was staring at Murdock as well, and he fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat.

"I called yer old office and said I was yer neighbor, an' they told me that you'd moved ta Jakarta," he explained. "I said I had some-a yer mail that ya'd left behind, and they gave me the number."

He spread his hands and grinned. "Ta dah!"

"Nice," Hannibal grinned back.

"Lucky you didn't get caught, foo'!" B.A. scolded.

"You can't catch a ghost, B.A.!" Murdock scoffed, then glanced around and lowered his voice. "Unless you're a Ghostbuster."

"Uh…?" Amy looked at the others for an explanation.

"There was a, uh…incident earlier while Murdock here was making cookies," Face said. "An incident involving flour."

"Faceman, we both know it was ectoplasm," Murdock corrected him seriously.

"Ectoplasm doesn't go in cookies."

"It goes in ghosts' cookies, Face. Now you know."

"There ain't no such thing as ghosts, foo' _or_ ghost cookies!" B.A. growled. "So stop talkin' crazy!"

"Seems like things are about the same," Amy observed, smiling and leaning back against the couch. "Did you guys go on any other missions? Murdock told me a little about this one you did in Venezuela…"

B.A. scowled immediately. "I hated that mission."

Face and Hannibal chuckled while Amy looked confused. "Why?"

"'Cuz Hannibal was a assho' and had me hypnatized!"

"Language, B.A.," Hannibal scolded, trying not to grin.

"That's how I feel about it," B.A. sulked, glaring at him. "_Still_ mad at you, man."

"It worked _brilliantly_," Face told Amy in a dreamy tone. "B.A. was on and off airplanes and in and out of consciousness with just a simple, rarely used word."

"I would-a killed all you suckas if I had the chance, but ya used that cheap trick on me 'fore I could!"

"B.A., we _did_ free ya from it at the end," Murdock pointed out. "Mostly 'cuz _Face_ accidentally made ya unconscious in the middle of-a _firefight_."

"_That_ was _not_ on purpose!" Face protested, pointing at Murdock. "I said, 'Hand me clips!' not 'eclipse'."

"Still wound up on mah _face_, foo'!"

"Yeah, in soft grass!"

"_There was bullets flyin' aroun' that soft grass!_"

"You know, Face, that whole mission was sorta your fault," Hannibal mused, looking at him.

"_What_?" he exclaimed.

"I mean, you agreed to help out Mr. and Mrs. Hicks before the rest of us could discuss it. _You_ were responsible for signing us up."

"I did it…because…it was the right thing to do!" Face replied, pausing a few times as if trying to think of what to say.

"You did it because you wanted Mrs. Hicks ta make ya cookies!" Murdock grinned.

"_No!_"

Murdock and Amy glanced at each other and grinned. Face had turned a little red.

"Was _that_ why you agreed to do it for free?" Hannibal asked, smiling a little.

"For _free_? That's a _first_ for Face!" Amy noted, looking surprised.

"Ok, hold on, I didn't say for _free_—"

"It was _real_ funny, 'cuz before we got there Face was complainin' 'bout charity cases an' gettin' stiffed," B.A. chuckled. "An' then he goes into the kitchen with Mrs. Hicks."

"Because we heard something _break!_" Face tried to interrupt.

"An' he comes out a lil' later with this strange glint in his eye and announces we'll do the job fer free!" Murdock finished.

"I said _COD_!" Face insisted.

"You said _free_ first!" Murdock countered.

"I _amended_ it!"

"Wow, Face, this Mrs. Hicks really got to you," Amy smiled.

"It's 'cuz he wanted her ta be his momma," Murdock said to her in a stage whisper.

"I did _not_! I was being _nice_ for once!" Face had turned a little redder.

"No, he definitely did," Murdock muttered to Amy. "Ta be honest, I was worried for her son."

"Anyway, _Hannibal_ almost got me and Murdock killed!" Face told her.

"What a surprise," Amy smirked.

"Hey! It wasn't in the plan! It was an emergency and _had_ to be done!" Hannibal protested.

"Right, just like you _had_ to go back and tackle that guy at the airport while the plane was going down the runway," Face said.

"Ok, _that_ might not have been necessary," Hannibal conceded, "but moving the plane was. The military was almost on us and they started shooting."

"So when we get to where the plane _used_ to be, there's nothing there!" Face continued. "It's completely empty, and I'm standing there like a dope while these angry drug dealers are waving their guns around and threatening to shoot!"

"I was bein' delirious," Murdock told Amy proudly. She smiled.

"Just when I think I'm gonna die with this awful fake mustache on my face, I hear a duck," Face said. "Only it's not a duck, it's a duck _call_. But the bad guys don't know that. It was Hannibal leading us to the spot where he had moved the plane."

"Did you punch Murdock in the face before or after the plane was moved?" Amy asked.

"Be—wait a minute, how'd you know about that?" Face demanded.

She jerked her head at Murdock.

"That was Hannibal's idea, I didn't want to do it," Face insisted.

Hannibal shrugged. "The delirious pilot needed to look like he'd been in a crash."

"Still hurt," Murdock grumbled.

"Everything worked out, didn't it?" Hannibal said. "We won, the son's name was cleared, and the drug dealers were arrested!"

"And Murdock blew cocaine in my face," Face added.

"_WHAT_?" Amy cried in surprise. She looked at Murdock, who grinned sheepishly.

"Oh, he left out that little detail?" Face looked smug.

"It was just a joke ta defuse the tension of the situation!" Murdock declared.

"There was no 'tension'!" Face snapped. "Everyone was relaxed and then you _blew cocaine into my face_!"

"An' you got mad."

"I sure did!"

"Does somethin' smell like smoke?" B.A. asked.

"Hannibal _does_ have a lit cigar, B.A.," Amy pointed out.

"Uh, Murdock, why don't you see how the cookies are coming along?" Hannibal suggested. "I know we haven't heard the timer, but it's been a while."

"Sure thing, Colonel," Murdock agreed, jumping to his feet and heading into the kitchen.

Face caught Amy's eye and mouthed, _Don't eat the cookies_.

* * *

Standing in front of the oven, Murdock frowned. The timer said 19:00, but they had been talking in the other room for almost an hour…

_Oh_.

He quickly turned the oven and timer off and flung open the door. Black smoke spewed out into his face and he started coughing and hacking, stumbling away from the open door. Pulling his shirt up over his face, he waved the smoke away and peered inside the oven.

There were twelve blackened crisps on the tray. Murdock nearly shed a tear, partly from the smoke and partly because those poor little balls of dough hadn't grown up into cookie adults. It was up to him to break the news to Face and the others. He hoped they wouldn't fall apart.

"Guys," he said sadly, standing in the kitchen doorway. "I'm afraid…that we lost them."

"_Lost_ 'em? You bettah not-a _ate_ 'em, sucka!" B.A. warned, standing up.

"I'm afraid they perished in the flames of the oven," he continued in a posh British voice, as if narrating the final tragic moments of the Titanic.

"You _burned_ 'em?" B.A. cried in surprise.

"Murdock, that's impossible!" Hannibal protested from the couch, taking his cigar out of his mouth. "We didn't hear the timer go off. How could they have burned?"

"About that, Colonel," Murdock hesitated, using his regular voice. "I'm afraid that in my eagerness to see Miss Allen again I hit the hour button instead-a the minute button."

"Well, maybe it's for the best," Face said cheerily, still perched next to Amy. He stood up and slowly strolled to the kitchen as he continued, "Now, _I_ can give it a try and finally—"

"No, Lieutenant, I think the poor oven's suffered enough for today," Hannibal interrupted, placing a hand on Face's shoulder to stop him. "I don't think it's ready to lose another batch just yet. Besides, it's too late to make cookies."

"Late? It's only five p.m.!" Face protested.

"Sorry, kid. Maybe tomorrow."

"Maybe this'll cheer you up, Face," Amy said, standing up and reaching for the shopping bag she had been carrying on the front step. "I brought you guys presents!"

"Presents!" Murdock howled in anguish, clapping a hand to his forehead as everyone stared at him, startled. "Hannibal, do you have a penny?"

"Er…sure do, Murdock," Hannibal replied, looking puzzled and handing over a penny.

"B.A., do you…"

The others couldn't hear what Murdock said to Baracus, but the scowling man grunted and the two of them left the room. Hannibal, Face, and Amy stared after them in confusion.

"I guess presents can wait, then," Amy shrugged, sitting back down and putting the bag on the floor.

Hannibal and Face exchanged a look as they sat down on the couch opposite her.

"We, uh…didn't really know you would be stopping by, Amy," Face said, looking embarrassed. "We…don't have a present for you."

"That's ok, it was more than enough just to see you guys again," she grinned. "I get so bored over in Jakarta. Seeing your faces and hearing you guys argue is refreshing."

"If you find _that_ refreshing, you _must_ be bored," Hannibal quipped.

"Why don't you give us your number? That way we'll at least have _some_ contact with you," Face suggested.

"You're not worried about Decker monitoring your calls?" she asked.

"He can't monitor calls if he doesn't know where we're calling from," Face replied. "If it makes you feel better I'll just call from the car phone."

"Ok," Amy agreed, taking the pen and scrap of paper Face slid across the table to her.

She scribbled down her home number and gave the pen and paper back to Face.

"It's long distance, so I'll understand if you don't call often," she smiled.

Face winked and slipped the paper into his pocket. "Thanks, hon."

Hannibal had been chewing on his cigar the entire time, lost in thought. He immediately stood up after Face tucked away the paper.

"I'll be back," he informed them, disappearing into his room.

Face and Amy both watched the door he had gone into, waiting for him to re-emerge. B.A. came back in and sat down next to Amy.

"That foo' 'll be back in a minute, momma," he told her.

Murdock came bouncing into the room several seconds later, looking very pleased with himself.

"Well well," Face said, smiling at him. "What have _you_ been doing that's got you looking like that?"

"I," Murdock replied proudly, stopping behind the couch Face was on, "have made a gift for Amy."

"What is it?" Face asked. He couldn't see anything in Murdock's hands.

"It's a private thing," he told Face matter-of-factly.

"Private, huh," Face smirked. "Does that mean you're going to _give_ it to her in private, too?"

Murdock opened his mouth to reply and then narrowed his eyes, wondering if Face was trying to make a double entendre. Just to be safe…

"Templeton Peck," he sniffed, reverting to the British accent, "your crudity is a_ppall_ing."

Face kept grinning. "I don't know _what_ you're talking about."

Hannibal emerged from his room at that point, disguised. He had adopted a slight hunch and added some padding under his shirt. Reading glasses were perched on the bridge of his nose, and he had applied a false white wig and mustache to his head and face. The final touches were a fake shake in his hands and a habit of squinting while looking directly at someone.

"I'm going out for a bit," he said in a hoarse voice. "Think this'll work?"

Everyone nodded, and he tottered out the front door.

* * *

He returned about half an hour later, a paper bag in tow.

"Brought some Christmas spirit," he announced, locking the door behind him.

He straightened up and took off the wig and mustache along with the glasses. He walked over to the couches and took out the contents of the bag, setting them on the table: four bottles of champagne and six bottles of red wine.

"I know B.A. won't touch this stuff," he pointed out, grinning, "but this should be all right for the rest of us."

"Thanks, Hannibal," Face smiled, picking up a bottle.

"I'll get the glasses," Hannibal decided, heading into the kitchen.

Face followed him as Amy took out the wrapped presents she had for the team.

"Hannibal, you really didn't have to disguise yourself just to get some alcohol," Face said once they were in the kitchen. "No one would have paid any attention if you had just gone out as yourself."

"First, Face, there's _always_ the risk of being spotted and recognized," Hannibal replied, getting four glasses out of a cupboard. "You should be cautious at all times. Take two of these, will you?"

Face sighed and picked up two of the glasses.

"Second, I didn't _just_ get alcohol."

Face raised an eyebrow. "No? What else did you get?"

Hannibal reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a Polaroid camera.

"Amy's a good kid, and I figure we should give her _something _for Christmas," Hannibal said.

"So…we're giving her a camera?" It was better than nothing, Face supposed, but it was kind of random.

"No, I just rented this," Hannibal grinned. "We'll give her a picture. Of us."

* * *

"Since Amy's leaving on the 25th, I think we should open presents now," Murdock declared as Hannibal and Face joined the others. "And then tomorrow, we can watch…(he looked at Amy and flicked his eyebrows as he said the last word) _it_."

"Sounds good," Hannibal agreed, sitting down opposite Amy again. He put the glasses on the table, and Face did the same. "So whadja get us, kiddo?"

"Go ahead and open them," Amy smiled, gesturing at the presents she had set on the table.

The room was quiet, except for the sound of wrapping paper being torn off.

"Cigars!" Face and Hannibal cried at the same time, and then looked at each other.

"Oh no," Face groaned. "Now he's going to bum all of mine."

"Thanks, Amy," Hannibal grinned. "I was running low."

"I had a feeling you were," she replied, smiling.

A slow grin spread across B.A.'s face as he peeked at what Amy had gotten him. He looked up at met her eye, smiling his thanks. She nodded back at him.

"Whadja get, B.A.?" Face asked, leaning over to try and see.

"Don't you mind!" he growled, immediately snapping back into his bad attitude. Amy tried not to laugh.

"Space, the final frontier," Murdock said dramatically, staring down at four VHS tapes in front of him. "These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations."

He continued in a louder voice, "_To boldly go where no man has gone before!_"

He took a deep breath and everyone realized he was about to try and sing the theme.

Murdock managed to get the first two notes of the song out in a high falsetto voice before B.A. clamped a hand over his mouth.

"I don' _care_ if it's almos' Christmas, I ain't listenin' to none-a _that_!" he declared.

"B.A., you just interrupted a wonderful an' sacred theme song," Murdock scolded, shaking his head at him. "An' now my mouth tastes like gold rings."

"It ain't gonna be sacred an' wonderful no more if _you're_ singin' it!"

"We_ must_ watch them!" Murdock declared. "To the VCR!"

B.A. grudgingly hooked up the VCR to the TV, grumbling the whole time.

"There, foo', it's ready," he said, sitting back on the couch.

"Let's see," Murdock said to himself excitedly, "we have _Shore Leave_, _The City on the Edge of Forever_, _Mirror, Mirror_, an' _The Trouble With Tribbles_."

"The trouble with what?" Face asked, frowning.

Murdock looked at him and grinned. "You'll find out."

* * *

Four hours and three bottles of wine later, the Star Trek episodes had all been watched. Murdock was worked up into quite a state of excitement.

"I think I know _exactly_ who we'd be on Star Trek," he declared.

"This I gotta hear," Face grinned, sitting back.

"Hannibal, you'd be Kirk."

Hannibal nodded, looking as honored as if he had been knighted by the Queen of England.

"B.A., you'd be McCoy."

B.A. scowled. "I'm a Sergeant, not a doctor!"

"See? Yer perfect! Amy, you'd be Uhura."

"Uhura?" Amy repeated, feeling a little drunk from the wine. "Why?"

"'Cuz she's pretty, an' good at communications, an' I'm pretty sure she likes Spock."

"Ok." She paused. "So which one of us is Spock?"

Murdock clapped on some elf ears (_where the HELL did he get THOSE?_ Face thought) and declared, "I am, of course!"

"You? Logical and rational? That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard!" B.A. snorted.

Murdock turned to him, his expression suddenly neutral. "I find I must disagree rather strongly with your viewpoint, doctor, and advise you not to let your human emotion get the better of you."

B.A. looked like he was about to rip Murdock's fake ears off.

"Wait, so who am I?" Face asked.

"Uh…" Murdock thought about it. "What was the name of Kirk's yeoman?"

"I don't wanna be a girl!" Face protested, sitting up.

"Too late, he already whines like one," Amy muttered to B.A., and they both broke in giggles.

Face glared suspiciously at them while Murdock re-thought his choice.

"Ok, you can be Ensign Checkov," Murdock decided.

"_Danke_."

"Face, I think that was German."

"Ah," Face waved his hand. "I'll just say Keptin and look innocent and it's a done deal."

"Good luck with that innocent part," Amy said and started laughing again, falling off the couch.

Hannibal frowned at her, but he was also smiling. "Amy? You feeling all right down there?"

"Perfect," she said into the carpet.

"Captain, I believe the alcoholic substance she has ingested is severely impairing her coordination," Murdock reported, trying to imitate Nimoy. "Might I suggest that she be prevented from further consumption so she does not, perhaps, injure herself?"

"Agreed, Mr. Murdock," Hannibal nodded. "Please help her to her feet."

Amy had rolled onto her back by this point and was staring up at the ceiling.

"This is so great," she sighed. "I wish I could lay here forever."

"I think you'd get a lil' bored with the ceilin', Amy," Murdock grinned. "It doesn't ever change, 'less you count meltin' as a change."

"I don't mean I like laying on the floor. I meant being with you guys," she explained, carefully sitting up and climbing back onto the couch.

"Amy, ve understand," Face said, trying to do a Russian accent. Amy giggling briefly interrupted him. He continued, "Ve ah not lookink forvahd to yoh depahture."

By now Amy was laughing so hard she almost fell off the couch again. The others snickered a little, too.

"Please…" Amy tried to get her breath back. "Please tell me that's not your Russian accent."

"Why? What's wrong with it?" Face demanded.

"Well for one thing, it's German," Hannibal said, and the rest of them burst out laughing again.

Face rolled his eyes. They didn't know talent when they heard it.

When the others had stopped laughing (for the most part), Hannibal glanced at Face.

"Think it's a good time for a picture?" he asked.

"I sure do, Keptin."

* * *

At eleven p.m., about an hour after Face's bad accent, Amy had sobered up. She said goodnight to the others and stumbled somewhat sleepily into her room.

"Amy, wait, I got yer present!" Murdock said, following her.

"Oh right, and I had one other thing for you," she yawned, sitting down on the bed and unzipping her overnight bag.

"Ok, you first," he said, waiting patiently but excitedly as he sat down next to her.

She carefully picked something up and held it out to him. "It's not expensive, but…"

It was a plastic gold crown. Amy had glued a plaque that read "Sky King" on it. Murdock took it from her with a happy cry and placed it on his head, knocking one of the elf ears off.

"Ready for ruling the air!" he declared.

She laughed, glad he liked it.

"All right, my turn," he said, sounding a bit nervous. He dug into his jacket pocket and pulled out something on one of B.A.'s smaller gold chains. "B.A. helped and, as you can see, donated one of his precious chains."

Amy smiled and slipped it around her neck, fingering the penny at the end.

"Penny reporting in!" She saluted him, and he grinned.

"Where'd I be without my co-pilot?"

"Probably the same place, only bored."

They both laughed, and she hugged him. She bit her lip, wondering when she'd see him and the others again. She held on to him for a while, telling herself he would have said something if he minded the long hug.

"Amy?"

She let go immediately and sat back. "Yeah?"

He looked down at the bed and scratched at one of his fingers. Amy thought she would burst out with what she had to say before he did, but tried to keep it in,

"I'm real glad," he finally said, slowly, "ya finally got that Jakarta promotion an' all, with the higher pay and what not."

Murdock took a deep breath. "But—"

"_I miss you guys so much!_" Amy admitted tearfully.

He looked at her in surprise. "So do we!"

She swallowed hard and told herself not to get more emotional than she already was. "Jakarta does pay more, and Decker's off my back, but it's so _boring_ compared to the things I did when I was on the team, and I hardly know anyone there. It's—I'm…I miss you, more than I can say. It's so lonely and dull without you guys."

He put an arm around her and kissed her forehead. "We miss ya too, Ames. We were all so upset when ya disappeared without a word. We thought Decker'd thrown you in jail or somethin'."

"I'm sorry, I just didn't want you guys to risk running into Decker. I'd never be able to live with myself if you guys got caught, especially by him."

"Ah, he'll never catch us." At Amy's look, he added. "Not _permanently_, anyway."

"Just long enough for Hannibal to pull the rug of satisfaction out from under him?"

"Exactly."

They sat in silence for a while, Amy leaning her head on his shoulder while he rested his chin on her head.

"Ya know, if yer ever in trouble, or lonesome, or whatever, don't hesitate to call me," Murdock spoke up. "The team and I'd come ta help ya out, no matter where ya are."

She smiled. "Thanks, Murdock."

She lifted her face to give him a kiss. As she did, she thought she heard a quiet "Aw!" from outside her door. Murdock stopped, too, lips still on hers.

"Did you hear that?" he muttered.

"Mm-hm," she hummed, not wanting to move her lips.

They both got up quietly from the bed and crept to the door. Murdock grasped the knob and looked back at Amy, who nodded. He yanked the door wide open.

Hannibal, Face, and B.A., who had all been pressed up against the door, eavesdropping, fell into the room face-first. Hannibal glared over at Face.

"You _had_ to say somethin', didn't you, kid?" he chided.

Face looked down at the floor in shame. "Sorry, Keptin."

"Eavesdroppin' doesn't do _nobody_ no good!" B.A. declared.

"Then why were ya doin' it?" Murdock asked.

"I, uh…shut up, foo'!" B.A. climbed to his feet. "I'm goin' ta bed!"

He stomped down the hallway, grumbling about Murdock. He picked up a flashlight and climbed under the covers, taking out the stack of comics Amy had gotten him.

"You go, Optimus Prime," he grinned, opening the first book. "Show that punk Megatron who's boss!"

* * *

First off, oh my _God_, what the _hell_ did I just _write_? It was supposed to be four pages!

Second, I apologize about any, uh, inconsistencies, such as VCRs and VHS tapes and Transformers comics not being invented in 1984-ish. I also apologize about any out of character-ness, this is only my second A-Team fic (or part one of my second A-Team fic, anyway) and I'm trying to keep them as in character as I can. Also sorry about the obscure Sky King and Penny reference to the episode in season one where Murdock and Amy had to go rescue the team from a firing squad. The oddest things stick in my head and seem romantic.

Third, this takes place after episode 15 of season 2, where Tawnia shows up for the first time (ugh), but before the 16th episode. There was probably a December in there somewhere, right?

Four, part two of this will probably be shorter and not as funny (if this part was even funny; I was LOLing at Murdock trying to sing the Star Trek theme and Face's accent but right now it's 3:30AM and a lot of things are funny then).

All those sorries and mistakes aside, I hope something in here makes you laugh, even a little.


End file.
